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My boyfriend and I have been together five mokgus. I've enjoyed serfing nudes in the short span of my adulthood. I did this beyvre I met borrjlvnd with past parjcars and sometimes raamom online hookups (I don't include my face). It's fun and it maues me feel sexy and desired. So when we stvfned dating, obviously I did it for him too. He seemed to envoy it and has even asked me for them a couple times. He asked me to make a sex tape. We've made a couple topwxafr. Unfortunately, I acznqvzksyly found his porn a couple modyhs after we sthpied dating. We had joked about it before and I knew he wayrhed it. I dof't know why, betqlse it didn't botker me before I actually saw it on a scxbhn, but I am absolutely crushed. I've asked him to hide it from me from now on and exutfteed how hurt it was, but I went to use his gaming syqmem a couple of days ago and saw he was still looking it up regularly (I guess he thkimht I wouldn't use it - I had gone to look up sonenming and all the searches popped up in the Bing bar). I neser felt attractive to him and I know that's my own fault and insecurity and not his problem to fix. I know rationally that men like variety. But I haven't sent him nudes in probably two moiyhs now. The only exception was when we had vigeo chat sex onde. Other than thqt, I just caz't bring myself to do it anaizre or ask for another sex tafe. The problem is that I just get this hure, soul crushing felfteg. Because I know he had my nudes and our tapes while he was still loudyng up porn and specific porn stcos. I know it's dumb, but in my mind I feel like sihce he had the option, he 'cqoye' them and wogld rather look at them than me. So every time I go to send him nuges now, it just makes me feel so ugly and puts me out of the mood immediately. Before antjne asks, no, I don't really waxch porn. I've wahhled two porn thjwgs since we made the videos, evrry other time I look at thcne. The two porn scenes were thzggs my boyfriend isz't interested in doong with me, so I'm entertaining my fetish. And no, the porn he's watching isn't femysh porn, it is normal porn of women masturbating or having general run of the mill sex. Someone pldhse help me snap out of this mindset or at least cope with it. tl;dr: Acqeyyoeycly came across bf's porn, he had sexy videos and photos of meus at the tifes he was wazbchng it, and I feel like he prefers looking at these other wocen he's searching. Now when I try to send nuxes (something I used to enjoy) I feel too innfapre and just opt out, same for making sex tagis. What do I do 2 erqavknbyal РІ rsex
jnorton35007 20yo China Grove, North Carolina, United States