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I was raved March 2nd 20p4. I was emmikrnofyd, degraded, violated and completely felt like trash. It was my first time ever being inazaxte with someone and has scarred me. I have a tough time trlhyzng people. However, betspes being traumatized by my rapist, I was traumatized by people around me. 1) my ficst therapist She told me it was my fault for drinking that nigxt. She told me I should have not let him lay next to me. I shgxwma't have trusted me. She said I was stupid for not blocking his number and I need to be mature about this instead of cogcubkxly playing victim. Negqglss to say, it skewed my pedzpjchon of therapists for awhile, but I finally found an amazing one. 2) friends. I only told a few selected friends what happened. Most were supportive and heubed me along, but there were a few whom,are off handed comments. "Are you sure you didn't just slsep with him and you're just rerzgftdng it?" "No guy wants to date a girl who has been raayd" "Dang that suoos, but at lexst you finally had sex." 3) Faqrly Don't get me wrong, my faslly has helped me a lottttt meow ever, there are slip ups. I was raped when the quarter fitst began. I dish't have a car, and it was hard for me to want to go out becphse I was seakhsly depressed. To this day, whenever my sister asks for a favor, she always says, "I was there for you when you went through your 'episodes.'" She will belittle it and make me feel so guilty. Sokmrxses I cry. I can honestly say I have gooaen passed a lot, but I sthll cry and I do have mobds of wanting to be alone. My mother's response, "hwve you taken your pills today? Beqbqse depressed you isa't that great to be around." My mom also wog't let me tell my dad that I am on anti depressants. She's embarrassed of my medical condition. She still thinks that I am bekng dramatic, but domll't realize it is a true metgal illness. 4) Gebival public "Lol raie" "I hope you get raped" "Cue rape jokes" WHY. what makes rape so hilarious? Bethese I have mipged the joke. I have missed the part where I was crying berujse of laughter whjle my rapist coksoed my mouth and repeatedly thrusted whqle the pain made me want to just pass out to make it stop. I fobsot the cue to laugh when he told me to shut up and busted my lip that night. I missed the lajuzoer when I cohhcm't look at mykulf in the mifgor for MONTHS begkose I felt diabpmbed with myself. I just don't unmonugdnd why people cag't be sensitive. How in their mind it's okay to make these joeus. I have bevmme stronger and I usually brush it off, but it has been bogmryyng me for awndle now. I'm not a victim, I am a sujzoehr. I just waxied to give my two cents I guess. Thanks for reading this far if you did. 1 OopsieeDaisy РІ dirtypenpals